Pleasant Thoughts (and a teenager)

My Dearest Christina,
Our baby girl is growing up. Tomorrow morning at 11:26, she will officially be a teenager. It seems like just yesterday, I was holding her in the palm of my hand. And now, she’s a young lady. Beautiful, smart, athletic, compassionate, loving, strong willed. Just like you. You would be so proud of her. She’s still a good mix, but I am starting to see more and more of you in her every day. Her looks. Her personality. Her way with kids. It’s so fun to watch.

So, I started attending a Grief Share class at church. I know what you’re probably thinking, “you? Really?”. So, yes, really. Tonight was my second night. And I actually enjoyed it. Although, the video portion was painfully long tonight. Of course, I’m sure my headache didn’t help with that. I was actually dreading attending the classes. But I said I would because my pastor asked if I would be willing to facilitate a class at Lakeside. I thought it would be like the last class I attended where I end up leaving depressed. But this has been different. In fact, tonight I left with a smile on my face as I was reminded of some fond memories of us. In particular, how we used to say I love you “I love you, I love you too, I love you three, I love you four, I love you infinity, I love you infinity…..and beyond”. It actually made me smile. That was just one thing though. There were actually several things that made me smile tonight. Which I think is a good thing.

One of the things we were talking about tonight, was taking the necessary time to work through our grief. Even though it can be unbearable at times. And even though we don’t always like it, we need to do it, so that we can get to a point where when we think about our lost loved ones, it’s not so painful. And it just got me thinking. That while I still have my moments of sadness, and I still miss you dearly. I find more often than not, that during my “moments”, my thoughts generally turn to fond memories. The ones that make me smile. The happy moments. Our “I love you’s”, your smile, that look in your eye when I walk in the room after being gone all day. A kiss good night. A kiss good morning. A kiss in general. 🙂 We had a good run together. And while I wish it had been longer, it wasn’t what God had in His plan. And while I still don’t understand His plan, I have faith that He knows what He’s doing.

The kids are doing great. Alexys is still dancing. And Andrew is focusing on school (although he is hoping to start taking classes to learn how to do tricks on his skateboard. Don’t hate me, I’m actually considering it). We all miss you much. But we are doing great. We still take it one day at a time. And some days, one moment at a time. But overall, we are doing great. We love you and miss you much. Till we get to see you again. XOXOXOXOXOXO

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